Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Normal Days

Nova Scotia, Sept 2008

I'm not sure why I stress over change so much.  I thrive on choas it seems...to a point and then it makes me insane.  I get worked up over everything when it feels like my life is pulling in all directions and I have no control.

I work hard to deal with my inner-control-freak.  I stuff her back down and tell her to chill out when I want to scream and worry and make things all clean and tidy.  I don't feel the need to be in control of everything, but when nothing seems to be going the way it should and things are messy, well I get a bit nervous. 

It's been over a year since I left C, actually closer to a year and a half.  R and my 1 year anniversary is in June.  We are moving very soon.  I just moved 6 months ago so it's bugging me.  And we knew we were going to move again, so we left more than half of my things still packed in boxes - I'm hating it.  We were supposed to move in early, around next weekend, but now someone is temporarily living there until the end of the month, so we don't know when we are moving in.  Maybe next weekend.  Oh, it had better be next weekend. 

I hate the rush of moving.  Can't find anything, stuff all over, stuff in boxes.  The hard, heavy lifting and moving, ugh.  The people here are particular so the cleaning has to be impeccible.  So here she comes ICF - if we can move on Saturday May 28th and unpack on the 29th and clean after work on the 30th, then it'll all be finished for a walk thru on the 31st - eek! 

Work is super busy.  I'm doing 1 1/2 positions currently.  Mine and some stuff for payroll.  I like it, but it's wayyyyyy busy, can't keep up busy.  R starts a new job on Monday.  He was approached and doesn't like his current job.  He's been there just over 3 months. 

And then I jump all over.  I wanted to take holidays this summer.  I wanted us to take a week off.  And now with R starting a new job there is no way he'll have vacation saved up for a week off this summer.  Ugh.  Why stress?  I don't get it. 

I do need time off.  Badly.  R says that he's going to have to babysit me when I take vacation time.  I don't relax.  I keep insanely busy so that when I go back to work, things slow down.  I'm always hectic paced.  I like to visit my mom, dad or sister but end up running the entire time.  I have this issue with doing nothing...there are always things that need to be done. 

I keep telling him I need to find a beach and go somewhere where there is nothing I can do, and leave my cell at home.  I'm sure the first day might make me stir crazy lol. 

Either way I can't wait until the move is finished.  I'm super sick of boxes and now we have more as we continue to pack up more things.

Does it make sense that this move makes me a bit sad?  I didn't love where we've been living, but it is our first place together.  R says it isn't our first place, that it was his place and I moved in and we didn't make it our place together and that this new house will be our first place together.  I agree but can't help feeling a bit sad that we are leaving the first place we lived together and in the past 10 months have had a lot of happy memories here. 

I think I need a stay-cation after this move.  And some serious sleep. 

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for stopping by my blog and deciding to stay for a while. I haven't moved in almost 17 years and I can only imagine the horror! But we are moving my daughter home from college next weekend and she's a packrat...just that prospect is hard enough. Good luck with your move.
    Sandy

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