The Dark Side

We all have a dark side.  You know it.  The side that when someone makes a snide comment where you want to bat one right back?  Even though you know it won't help and it won't make things any better.

I'm very good at ignoring the dark side at work.  In a professional side it doesn't help anything and usually does more harm than good.  When I first moved to Calgary I'd come home in tears once in a while.  I remember one instance where I had asked the department managers to assist in a project (mandatory) and when they didn't my boss asked me what their responses were, I had no choice but to tell her.  She reamed them out in a managers meeting and then one manager, turned and yelled at me that I didn't do what she was asking so how would he know.

I've learned since that that particular manager is passionate and his first response is anger.  I let it go in the meeting and didn't argue because I knew it would turn into a he-said, she-said.  After the meeting my boss asked to see my email asking for their assistance.  I provided a copy for her, which detailed that he was wrong and I had asked.  Later on, he came to me and apologized.

It didn't take out the sting.  When someone yells at you in front of 7 people and then apologizes in private, the damage is done.

I've been dealing with a manager who does one thing and says another.  Constantly.  I've been working on flyer's for the 2 departments and they have to agree.  I have an email copy of both agreeing to this flyer.  I made up the flyer and sent it for approval and he emailed back saying he hadn't been consulted and that he wouldn't participate.

At this, I emailed him a copy of his previous email asking why he approved the ideas and not now.  He ignored me.  I emailed my boss at this point.  I let the dark side out and I threw him under the bus.  I told her that he was wasting my time (true, I spent 2 hours on that flyer) and that he was making his own flyer's (also true) even though he had been told clearly that all flyer's had to go through me and be approved by our boss. 

She had me email on her behalf and cancel all flyer's from this point forward. 

It pisses me off that his childish behavior cancels something that could benefit everyone.  And that he still thinks he can do whatever he wants. 

So frustrating!