Last night R went to talk to his ex about us. We didn't really know what to expect so all in all (so far) it far exceeded our expectations. She was upset that he didn't tell her sooner that he was dating and that she was finding out he was dating after he had moved in with someone. I understand her feelings. Thinking back, in hindsight he should have told her sooner, but it wasn't an easy situation.
Either way she knows now. Part of it anyhow. She got upset and cried (however R tells me that is her first reaction to everything, cry then talk it out, or get mad, or sad, or whatever). She wants to meet me, which we expected. He wants us all to be friends....never gonna happen!
I tried to explain to him that no matter what, she could under other circumstances be my best friend, but in these circumstances, it will never happen. I hope for civility and consideration and go from there. I'm pretty sure it will be this weekend so we'll see. We are supposed to have the baby on Sunday (as per our usual).
She told him that starting in Sept. she wants him to take the baby on Saturdays. Which I do NOT want to do. It limits us in so many ways. She won't let the baby stay over night (because she says the baby is not ready, but really his ex is not ready). This means that if she won't let us have the baby for a weekend, we won't be able to travel together from Sept - Dec. And although R doesn't really go further than a day trip, I do. I like to take vacation time in the fall. I say every other Saturday and then Sunday, alternate. We'll see what happens.
I just hope she doesn't talk to a bunch of her man-hating friends and freak out worse after she thinks about it. Ugh.
Taking turns on weekends is the fairest way. EVERY saturday seems very limiting!
ReplyDelete-kate
All about control. I think he should have her every other whole week!
ReplyDeleteYou already are having problems with the kid on Saturday? It may not fit your plans but that is his time with the kid. She needs to let that baby come with you all week and alternate weeks. That can be fixed in court instantly.
She is doing the Saturday only thing to control him...
He needs to stand up and get more time.
Oh, no way do you need to be friends with this chick. She will stab you in the back. Be cordial and take care of the kid as if it was your own and that is the best thing you can do...
Love,
Bobby
We can't take her all week because we both work and we'd have to pay for childcare, and the ex doesn't work so it's better to have her there during the week.
ReplyDeleteWe want to have her for a full weekend, every other weekend and then Wednesday nights as well. That way she gets time with us and we get time to do other stuff too. When she gets older perhaps more time or alternating weeks.
And just to note, I'm totally happy having her around. I'll meet the ex and do my best to make her feel comfortable leaving the baby with us, but that part is up to her. I'll be nice, but we won't ever be friends. Yikes.