Procrastination and Silly Arguments

I hate arguing with my partner.  It upsets me to no end.  I used to hate to argue with C, but then it started happening more and more often and soon it was such a part of our life that it didn't upset me anymore.  Sure it was annoying and difficult and gave me headaches, but I didn't cry anymore.  And that relationship ended.  Now I'm not saying that I didn't care anymore, but I just started to hate that life. 

It pains me when R and I argue over anything.  Especially silly things.  He is a procrastinator.  Big time.  It makes me insane.  I don't sit still.  Ever.  Not even when I sleep. The background...

Yesterday we had Chloe.  I had been to a baby shower on Saturday, then it snowed like a foot and a half so we didn't get a lot done.  I was tired from running all week and then pushing yesterday.  I didn't start the laundry until Sunday morning.  We got up, R made breakfast and then he left to go pick her up.  In the meantime, (it takes about an hour usually, yesterday it was an hour and a half), I did laundry, cleaned up breakfast dishes, vacuumed the floor and the rug, did general clean up.  It's an un-written rule that I do the floors and he mops.  I wash and separate the laundry, he cleans the bathroom and helps me put the clothes away. 

Anyhow, so while we have Chloe he doesn't help me.  With anything.  I cooked, I did dishes, I did everything.  Which usually I'm ok with, as long as he helps me later.  So, fast forward.  We like to watch Celebrity Apprentice (ya I know...lol), but it was 2 hours last night, of which I wasn't planning on spending 2 hours watching TV, but whatever, so during the commercials I would get up and go switch the laundry, put away the dishes, etc.  And he just sits there. 

Then when we go to bed, we end up arguing about it.  And I end up crying.  I hate arguing with him.  It scares me.  And we tend to argue over this stupid stuff way too often.  I feel like I work hard at keeping our (very small and crowded) space clean and tidy, he feels I make him feel bad for not cleaning like I do.  But his procrastination makes me insane!  Did the floors get mopped or the bathroom cleaned yesterday?  Nope.  Why?  Because he put it off and then it was really late, too late to do it.  Ugh, so frustrating.

In other news, tomorrow is my birthday.  29.  I realize it's young, but in some ways I feel old.  The last year of my twenties.  I had always imagined I would have more accomplished by now.  I wanted to be married, I wanted to have a child or be pregnant, I wanted to be living in my own home.  I don't have any of those.  And as I get older I realize that there is still time, but if I let myself I still feel panicked.  Either way, I'm sure hoping 29 is better than 28 was...

Happy Monday.