Whine

I think I should've stayed in bed today. Actually I know I should have, but I have work to do and a meeting at 12...I think I've turned into one of those "but I'm too busy to stay home sick" types. I'm rational. I know that my office won't colapse if I miss a day...my desk...well it might buckle under all the damn paper, lol. No just kidding.

I made a compromise with myself...and R. I'll go in this morning, bust my butt until after my meeting, then I'll go home and sleep the afternoon away. I have to travel for work tomorrow and Friday so I need to get better, as in now.

My life is not exciting right now. C is driving me insane, texting, calling, repeatedly. I wish he would just go away.

Woo Hoo!

I paid off my student loan yesterday!!!!! I'm so frickin excited about it lol. I've been paying on it for 7 - yep you read that right SEVEN YEARS! I finally was able to put a big chunk on it yesterday and just paid the sucker off. I love that feeling!

Other than that...I'm sick today, I have this weird throat thing that is making me cough, I'm running around after mechanics that don't report injuries at work, and now I have to file late paperwork - ugh. I'm also working on short term disability for another employee and modified job tasks for a long term disability.

R is busy, busy at home today. Revamping his resume, working on getting it out, applying for jobs.

Weekend with mom was great. I've missed them both!

I'm back in the other branch Thursday and Friday this week. I'm getting sick of travelling and that hotel. Almost finished though - thankfully!

When it rains...

...it pours!

R was "temporarily" laid off yesterday. FRICK! I don't feel too worried just yet. I'm definitely concerned. Can we catch a damn break??

He was paid for last night. He filed Uneployment last night, he got up with me at 6am today to update his resume. He's already applying for jobs today. He's calling people he does on-the-side welding jobs for today to find out if they have things coming up. He's a survivor and I'm sure he'll have something by the end of next week.

He wanted to leave that company anyhow...but on his terms...with another job lined up. I'm determined not to stress out about it. Frick though. I'm proud of him for his resiliance and pushing to find something better.

Glass half full? You betcha baby! We are going to rock this. This is what he needed to find a new, better job, working day shift (no more nights - woo hoo!) and better pay. I'm optimistic.

And heading to mom's for the weekend today. I'm only working until 12:30 so I'm a pretty happy girl today, despite yesterday's events.

Torn

I hate feeling helpless. It's something that makes me mad, sad, upset, irritated.

I feel helpless.

I have a good friend, back at the other office, where I worked before I moved. We've been good friends since I started there, about a year and a half. Strangely enough, we were going through similar situations with being unhappy in our marriages. Both only married for a few years too. It was odd how we connected as friends. We had a lot alike, we liked to do the same things, crafty things outside of work. We didn't spend a lot of time outside of work, but we did get together occasionally or chat on the phone. We did take all of our breaks together and talked through everything that was going on.

She was the first person I told about R and wanting to leave C. We cried together. About her life changes and mine. We gave each other advice and hugs when there were no words left to give. I knew leaving that job would be hard because leaving a good friend behind would be difficult. I knew that it was one of those friendships were I wouldn't travel too often to see her because having no where to stay and not wanting to run into my ex. And she wouldn't come to see me, mainly because of money issues.

Her separation has been much, much worse than mine. Mine was hard, but mine was never physical. I know of at least 3 occasions where he's been physical with her. And a few weeks ago, he showed up at the end of her shift at work and there was an incident, in the building. There were witnesses and the managers called me on the Monday morning to ask me what to do (new position as Health & Safety Coordinator), I had no idea other than to call the General Manager and ask her.

They did and she had them call the police. They came to the building and interviewed her and the witnesses. They decided not to press charges at her insistence. She was scheduled to work alone on Saturday, there was no one to cover, the GM was worried about her and actually closed the building so she wouldn't be alone.

Today, it came out that she is still in daily contact with him, and has done nothing to protect herself. I was asked to call OH&S (occupational health and safety) and the Alberta Labor Board to find out what our responsibilities and obligations as her employer are. Then I had to write an email to both managers in that branch indicating what needed to be done (staff meeting, prohibiting him from the building, talking to her). Further she is being referred to a professional paid by the company to discuss her situation, mandatory.

My boss, the GM is asking me details. Things as her friend I know. Things as a co-worker I would not. I've not given any specifics - not asked. But she asked me, in my opinion:

- Do I think she's in danger? Yes.

- Do I think she's afraid of him? Yes.

- Will she get a restraining order? No.

- Has he been physical in the past? Yes.

- Is she safe? No.

- Will he try to kill her? Yes.

I keep trying to call her, but she's never around, never answers. I finally managed to get a text from her. She told me it wasn't a good time. I asked when and she said she didn't want to talk about anything that has been going on. I understand that. Completely.

But I'm still sad. I'm worried about my friend.

She's turned to partying. That is her out right now. That is her hide-away. She drinks. A lot.

I'm torn between the place where I do what is right, I tell my boss that I'm scared for her safety and try to get her the help she needs so she realizes she's not safe and that she needs to get away. Or do I do nothing and sit back and worry about her? If I try to help, she avoids me because it's easier in the short run to ignore it and I lose my friend, possibly. I miss her. I'm worried.

I tried to talk to R about it earlier and he wasn't much help. His perspective is that he didn't understand how someone can stay. I understand. I tried to explain to him that it's not as cut and dried as when your dating. Being married is a commitment and you want to stay and you want them to change and be the person you know they can be, the person they were. You can't give up so easily. And it hurts. It hurts a lot, because you know the person they used to be, the person you loved, the person that made you happy. We know that logically they aren't that person anymore, but love isn't logical. It doesn't think, it only feels.

And so I'm sad tonight. I'm worried about my friend and in choosing to try to help her and keep her safe, she's not talking to me.

Monday already?

Ugh, seriously? Monday already, boo! It's wayyyyy cold here today, and snowy and icy and yucky. I got up earlier than usual, 5:30 to get here early, and it still took me awhile to get here, I figured the traffic would be lessened a bit. Not so much.

I'm supposed to travel to train on Wednesday morning, however, I don't think that will happen. All company trucks have been grounded this morning, I've NEVER seen that happen. The transcanada highway is closed for most of southern Alberta, I've NEVER seen that happen either. I think we're in for a messy storm.

2 weeks ago, we almost got into an accident and eek! It scared the crap outta me! I'm sticking to the side roads for now, until it clears. I wish today was a snow day... :)

Pay it forward, #3 gone...

Well I stole it from Facebook, but I'm thinking of it here as well... Any takers??

‎: Pay It Forward 2011: I promise to send something handmade to the first 5 people who leave a comment here. They must in turn post this and send something they make to the first 5 people who comment on their status.* The rules are that it must be handmade by you and it must be sent out to your 5 people sometime in 2011

#1: Bobby AKA - Fijufic!

#2: Dorrie AKA - Westy!

#3: Mrs. McCracken!

#4: ???

#5: ???

Oops...I forgot to mention, you'll have to email me your mailing info. too! silvertag@hotmail.com

And I'm not enforcing the must post it on your status or blog rule either...this is just something I'd like to do! :)

Ugly Sweaters

My family on Christmas Eve, rocking our 'Ugly Sweater Contest'. Btw...I won!

Christmas was great. My week off has been wonderful. We've been relaxing and enjoying the time to do somethings and catching up and days in jammies.

We didn't think we'd make it for Christmas supper at my Sister's place in BC, but we managed to swing it, thankfully. And with just enough time to spare, I was running around thrift stores the morning of the 24th to find us Ugly Sweaters for the contest. It was really funny, too bad you can't see my winning sweater, I'm in the back middle holding my niece. Everyone participated. I think we have a new, fun tradition!